and it WAS an accident…

A big part of my weightloss journey is exercise. Because I am a ‘water bunny’ at heart, the work out I particularly enjoy is AquaAerobics…Now, thank goodness, I have grown out of my Maternity Swimsuit with skirt and all…in my ‘fat’ daze, though I definately WASNT pregas’, maternity swimmers were the only ones that I could squeeze substantial frame into…they pretty much covered everything apart from my rhino stumps that is…but the problem was my cup size ‘G’ Boobies (as my 18 month year old loves to call them) had a habit of literally busting out at every opportunity. Its not good when in the middle of a VIGOROUS work-out; bobbing up and down, and punching the water HARD and FAST, you look down and discover that for the last 3 minutes you have been ‘flashing’ the gorgeous, male, Aqua instructor with your ‘Dolly’ boobs. No wonder he was looking at me attentively and trying to make eye contact…and here I thought he might be interested…turns out he was trying to warn me, as inconspicuously as possible, so as not to draw attention to myself from other participants…Well, I have never moved so fast…I literally plunged under the water to put myself back in place. To this day I still have an unfinished pre-paid activity card to that swimming center that I haven’t used cause I NEVER went back there again…

As a result of my ‘melting’ body however, I now wear a funkier, younger, two piece…no not a bikini…YET! My swimsuit consists of a, hot-pink pair of swim shorts and a matching ‘cami’ style top (all the ‘rage’ on this side of the planet)…It was a bout time too…but the sad thing is, that with my diminishing body, my breasts are also getting smaller…boohoohoo. they were one of my defining assets and I am definately going to miss those voluptuous babies…although I haven’t been suffering from as much back pain as I used to…so I guess thats a good thing!

On a more serious note, I was supposed to weigh myself today…but I missed it…I always weigh myself first thing on a Thursday morning…just before I hop in the shower…every extra pound counts…and wearing clothes can easily put on another pound or two depending on what I am wearing. On the same note if I weigh myself after the shower…my hair is wet and heavy so again another few pounds added…and truer still as the day goes on the heavier I seem to get… so now, if I miss it I miss it..I will see how I go tomorro and let you know.

Oh bloody hell I have gone and done it again…I have changed the structure of the blog around…I am using a different system now…one where everyone can see the comments of others without having to look at a pop up box. When you post it will come up on the main page under the blog posting itself…

I am trying here guys…I want to hear from you all!!! NO excuses! But the bad side to me ‘playing’ with the site is that the RSS feed address has changed some…it is now:
http://www.findingflabuless.com/Blog/index_files/FRSS.php or alternatively through Feedburner:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/FindingFlabulessRssFeed

I promise NO more playing from now on…I will leave things as is.

I was going to blog it out tonight but it is already 1am and I am exhausted…so I am off to bed…alone…with my dreams…and my 3 year old, crawling into bed with me in the middle of the night …I can hear all you saying Ohhhh isn’t that cute…well it would be if he didn’t snore so bloody loudly…I thought I was BAD…sleeping next to him even I have to put MY head under the pillow and even then I can still hear him….GRRR I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in what seems like 3 years hehehehe that and having to wear PJ’s to bed considering how uncomfortable they are when they twist and scrunch up between the sheets…before my boy came along my bed dress of choice was ‘what you find in an empty box’…hehehe I will leave that one to your over active imaginations. The funny thing is that I snore like a trooper myself…and others snoring never used to bother me but my son…well…he can snore with the best of them…I guess he takes after his mama! but ssssh don’t tell anyone…I wouldn’t like any future partners to find out that little bit of information too soon…about me snoring I mean..hehehe.

Ok guys…just out of interest, help me out here…of my ‘The Lighter Side’ cartoons so far, which ones do you think are the funniest…You can select multiple.I am in the process of developing more and I am kind of keen to know what hits your funny bone! hehehe!

Free polls from Pollhost.com

What ‘The Lighter Side’ Cartoons do you think are the funniest?

Tub Dam Belt Find Water Jam G-String Seduction Chair Stuck Cafe Crash

Well, the good news is that today I went for my usual 5mile walk! Its been awhile…but I needed to punch the air a bit…so my motivation for walking wasn’t all that ‘healthy’.

Last night I received a phone call at 12.30am from my X…he starts off the conversation “Now Flabuless, I have something to tell you but I want you to understand that I am not trying to manipulate you and I don’t want anything from you…but there is something I need to say…” Oh here we go!…I hold my breath waiting for the inevitable…I want you to bring my kids back to Australia…but it didn’t come…instead he says. “I am really sorry for everything I put you through!” Hmmmm…now how was I supposed to answer to that one?…”What everything?” I ask. I am a firm believer that if a person is truly sorry for something they can list, exactly, what they are sorry about…that shows they have thought about it and mean it. “I don’t want to get into it” he responds…hmmm typical “…I just needed to tell you I’m sorry…I needed to get it off my chest”

Well…I am glad HE feels better (argh…cynical for them that don’t know). Now that he is being NICE to me…supposedly…I am supposed to forgive him and welcome it with open arms…Sorry M8, apologies, no matter how sincerely said, just don’t cut it…too little too late if you ask me.

I must admit though, I am disturbed by it! Deep down I am sure that there is some kind of hidden agenda behind it…4 years of living with a consummate liar and manipulator has given me more than my fair share of reserve as to his ‘genuine intent’… and now what am I supposed to make of that…considering all that I have received from him since our separation has been abuse and harassment, and WHO has he been talking to…is his lawyer telling him to try and suck up to me so that I will be so blind sighted that I will ALLOW them to rob me blind when we go to court in May. I have already been robbed of 4 years of my life, my self esteem, my dignity, and my sense of personal safety! What more does he want from me? What more is left to take? The kids? Somehow it is easier…to handle him when he is being an arsehole I get ANGRY and that is good…it actually keeps me clear headed about all that he DID do to me. But why, when he changes tune and starts being nice, does it feel wrong somehow to still be ANGRY at him. My first instinct is to forgive him and make peace (perhaps my Christian upbringing,) but my gut tells me to BEWARE and protect myself and my children from the onslaught that I feel is about to be unleashed. Oh well, time will tell. We shall see what his ‘game’ is. In the meantime, I will continue punching the air.