Wedding Mahem

I have just come back from a great weekend away at my friends wedding…I would have been the marriage celebrant if I had of been able to transfer my celebrants licence from Australia, where I am currently an authorised Marriage Celebrant, to New Zealand… as it was, I was not able to do it in time due to the small community which I am living in having 4 registered celebrants already…with this said I ended up having the dubious ‘honour’ of doing a reading during the ceremony which passed without incident…thank god.

Anyhow it was a good and bad weekend for me…I had an absolute ball. The wine started flowing very early and continued into early hours of the morning…I had a lovely time flirting with the ‘bar boy’ with a cute butt…or so I thought, at the time…and I there was heaps of laughing, dancing and joviality all around…however on the other hand I ate too much, drank too much and smoked far far far too much…Yes…I know I am supposed to be giving up…well lets just say…my cold turkey matrix scheme hasn’t been working as well as I would have liked especially in light of the huge emotional overhaul I have been going through for the last couple of months.

The reception dinner was a buffet and I tell you…as soon as I saw the food…despite all good intentions…IT WAS ALL OVER. I have this condition that when I see food I simply must EAT IT…that is why I don’t have yummy things in my pantry cause I simply have NO control I MUST eat them…to get them OUT of the pantry you see…and at the wedding it was no different. I served up a full plate of all sorts of yummy delights and though I thought I would not be able to get through it all due to the lap-band…somehow I managed to pack it ALL down…but that wasn’t the worst thing…I actually went up for another plateful…which, thank goodness I didn’t finish and I didn’t have desert either so I guess thats something. But, I must have stretched my stomach beyond recognition yesterday.

And then there was all the alcohol flowing freely…From 4pm Onwards…you never saw me with an empty glass and to clarify…it wasn’t the same glass either…I have lost count as to how many glasses I actually had but when I was surprised to find myself flat on my butt, blocking the hallway to the toilet…I have NO idea how that happened, one minute I was up and walking and the next minute I was on the floor… it was at THAT point that I knew I had had way too much.

It was after 1.30am before I got to bed…and yes I was alone! God damnit! I guess I wasn’t trying hard enough with the bar boy that I was flirting with… besides, he was only a young’n…gee I felt sooo old next to a 22 yr old and I am only 28 hehehe!

I had smoked so much that it was coming out of my ears…and this morning, when I woke, the motel room literally smelled like the insided of a chimney…YUCK!… not the nicest smell when you wake up with a splitting headache and tummy churning hang over as is…3 cups of coffee and two croisants later I was revived and able to function at least…although I do feel like I have been a dead man walking all day and it is 7.08pm right now and I cant wait to get to bed…

Thank bloody goodness your friends don’t get married all the time…It would be the destruction of all that was ‘flabuless’ if I had to do this every weekend.