Consequences

Well…I got on the scales today for the first time in about a MONTH…GRRRR (I have been avoiding them like the plague actually! ) I can tell you, I didn’t like what I saw…Serves me right for indulging in my 7 Deadly Sins.

Ok…the bottom line is that I have put ON 4.5 lbs…OMG! I am supposed to be going DOWN not UP!!!! Time to get serious again! I am not going to change my ticker above cause…well…that would just be TOO humiliating. It’s bad enough that I have to KNOW I have gone up then have to see it again and again everytime I visit my own site…No…I am just going to spend the next couple of weeks getting down again…Then maybe we shall see the ticker start moving in the RIGHT direction. (ie Downwards not upwards).

In many respects I feel like a big, fake, fraud, I mean my whole blog is about loosing weight and yet I have to admit I have put on weight. Here I am supposed to be inspiring and encouraging y’all…and yet it seems that I am the one that needs to be inspired…and encouraged…BIG TIME!

Well, who said that loosing weight would be easy??? Even with WLS you still have to do the hard yards to work with it and not against as I have been over these last few weeks…when all is said and done, I only have myself to blame.

So, you are probably wondering where I have been all week…I don’t USUALLY disappear on you like I did last week…Well, I have been absolutely flat out on a couple of projects of mine.

My mate ScaleWhore and I have been working together on the FlabTV project…We have some big plans for it, so are totally renovating the website (hehe and you know how much I like renovating websites…lol). It’s off-line, at present, but when we have finished, it is going to be AMAZING! We can both see a HUGE future for FLABTV and it’s really nice to have a partner in crime or so to speak.

ScaleWhore…I just love her name!

I feel like such a ‘whore’ to the scales too..It’s like the scales are my ‘dominant’ mistress whipping me into submission whenever I step out of line. The only problem is…’safe’ words don’t really apply…lol…DANG!

The other project I have been hard at work on is an online ClubHouse for Sassy WLS Sisters Webring, which I am a member of…I have nearly finished this one…but I will tell you more about it and give you the link…when I am through. I am currently just waiting on some software upgrades and design tweaks then we will be ready to go!

So both these projects have really taken over last week… Slowly I am getting more organised…well…as organised as you can be with two toddlers, and an obsession with the internet.

My 7 Deadly Sins

Excuse: I forget, can’t be bothered…lame excuses, I know when my health is at stake!

Excuse: I wake up after 9am, then I am so busy bathing, dressing and feeding the kids that feeding myself just seems like a luxury. Besides, I never FEEL hungry first thing in the morning anyhow…I usually get the ‘Hunger Pains’ at about 11 am. When I, generally, chow down on a couple of arrowroot biscuits, or something quick and easy which I can basically just throw into my mouth, no matter what it is!

Excuse: At night is the only time, kid-free, that I can work on my MANY absorbing projects and once I start something I just can’t stop. I basically live 2 full 9 hour days…the first 9 playing ‘mommy’ and the next 9 playing ‘entrepreneur/blogger’.

Excuse: Emotional, sabotaging myself, I don’t really know…what I do know is that even when i aren’t hungry I have this alarming propulsion for eating…yea, yea, like its going to make make me feel better…but the insane thing about it is for about 5 whole minutes after…I do actually… but it is very short-lived.

Excuse: I never actually pour myself a glass of soda…No, that would be ADMITTING, to myself, that I actually drink it! Having a bottle in the fridge and taking a ’swig’ occasionally is much more palatable then admitting that I have an addiction to soda.

Excuse: This is much, much easier than having to prepare, cook, and dish up meals myself. It takes commitment, skill and knowledge to first work out what are the ‘Healthy’ and ‘Balanced’ food choices and then it takes energy to actually follow through actually cook them…besides which, as a result of my 1st sinful indulgence, my energy levels for ANYTHING are barely existent let alone to cook. Also, you have to admit, other people’s food is always SO much yummier!

Excuse: Hmmm…lets see…what do you think? Its a vicious cycle!

Have you SEEN yourself lately?

The ‘Just As I AM’-Challenge

…for this week (and the last 4 weeks, actually) my side of the chart has been very bare. In fact, my 3 1/2 year old son is whooping my butt where stars are concerned. HeHe

So that got me thinking…who am I and what is it that I stand for.

Apart from the standard; Age: 28, Gender: Female, Location: Hanmer Springs, New Zealand, which tells you completely nothing about me and who I am.

Literally, my only ‘claim to fame’ is that I am a proud, single mommy to two gorgeous toddlers of 3.5 and 1yrs.

I am a size 20 (Australian sizing) but when telling people my dress size I prefer using your American sizing system cause it means I can actually say I am a size 16, a whole two sizes less…well, it does sound better now doesn’t it?

I own three bra’s that have been fitted especially for my size 20 / 16F feminine beauties.. However, sometimes…when I haven’t done the washing for a week, (Ah…like right now!) I try to, un-flatteringly squeeze my ‘old friends’ back into the maternity bra’s which I wore at my son’s birth almost 4 years ago…Grrr

I own 3 pairs of shoes, all non-name brands, flat heeled and terribly boring and practical and up until a few days ago I didn’t even know who Michael Kors is…I have since learned that he’s an amazing designer (I even found a yummy pair of pumps that I absolutely adore!).

However, I have never owned, nor ever likely to own anything with the brand ‘Gucci’ on it. Actually, I have had the same hand bag for the last 5 years which, incidentally, I purchased at a ’saver’ store and I like the same style, so much, that when the bag breaks or gets a bit threadbare I periodically go back to the same store to buy exactly the same bag cause I am comfortable with it.

As far as dressing goes, I am ashamed to admit (or maybe not so ashamed!…) that I feel more comfortable in my sloppy jo’s (sweat pants) rather than in a halter neck and heels. In fact I hardly ever where makeup unless I am going to some special event or there is a chance I may accidentally ‘bump’ into a particular fellow that I have been ogling…for the better part of the last 18months…but more on that later.

I love sneaking a few moments out of my hectic, diaper filled, days to pick up a good soppy romance preferably by Jane Green or Jennifer Weiner or Jude Deveraux…I think I have an obsession with J authors…but my all time favorite novel, despite the clichés is Pride and Prejudice…I am still waiting for my ‘Mr Darcy’ to sweep me off my feet.

Ok…and then there’s my erratic exercise patterns…although I endeavour to run 7 kilometers, 3 times a week on my parents Elliptical Trainer, it inevitably never eventuates and if, on the extremely rare occasion, it does, I generally work really hard one week and then, after a couple of days rest, don’t get back into it for another 4 weeks (…or more).

I guess you could say I am a bread and butter woman who is fascinated by glitz and glamour of the ‘other side’ but has never had the paycheck to be able to afford it.

You know, its true, I am all that…and more…but more importantly I know that I AM F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S! I am a real woman, with a real body (unfortunately). I have real dreams and desires and I am making a real career for myself…right here, online, writing from a real honest place.

After much soul searching I have discovered a secret…and that is that I am becoming A-O-K with who I am …All of it! Indeed, my favorite quote comes from one of my favorite movie renditions of my all time favorite novels…yea…you probably guessed it…Bridget Jones’ Diary…where Darcy stammers uncomfortably to Bridget, after she has just subjected him to her characteristic verbal diarrhea… “I like you, Just as you are!”

It occurs to me that if women could learn to ‘like themselves, just the way they are’ …despite what the media tells us daily; about what we should look like, what we should be doing, what we should wear and what we should be buying even…then the world would be a better place for us and we would be happier.

The buck stops here…and on this I promise I wont be sitting on the fence…I guess you could say I have found my ’soap box’…here on this blog you wont find a lot of “marketing speak” or a blogger who would write something about a product for the money. Here, the only thing you will read/hear is the voice of the ‘real woman’.

The Just As I Am Challenge….Explained (22 July 2007)

Lets play tag…here’s how it works…Take up the challenge yourself then choose 5 people to tag…list those chosen ones on your blog under your entry and then visit their blog and write them a comment letting them know they have been ‘tagged’ to take part in the challenge…keep track of who participates and record their links on your blog as they post their entries.Eventually we will be able to follow a trail from everyone’s blog linking to other blogs and their tagged blogs etc…it could be huge… Tell your blogging mates…and lets start a craze and grow and learn to love ourselves through doing this.Plus, inspired by 2kbloggers, my dream is to set up a photo montage, of ALL who participate, with links back to their individual blog posts…Now I am getting goose bumps…IMAGINE a photo montage of 2,000 ‘Fatbloggers’ accepting themselves…Just as they are! Ok, Ok so I am thinking Big!!!! I always do…but if you think this is a neat idea then get onboard and lets start making an impact sort of like the ‘pay it forward’ phenomenon. And if you would like to be on the montage…start sending me your photo’s with links to your challenge post…so that I can set it up.

Scales: Friend or Foe?

Well after the week I had with my girl-friend visiting from australia, I haven’t had the guts to jump on the scales again. I am so scared that the indicator has gone up.

This is the worst part of dieting as the scales are either your friend or your enemy and it changes depending on what they are saying to you…hehehe just like a true friend. Although we all expect friends to be honest and give their honest opinion we can sometimes avoid approaching them or sharing because we are deeply afraid they will say something we DONT like. That’s where having multiple friends are good…Although, we can still have that one friend to give us the ‘honest truth’, as hard as it is at times, we should also have our other friends who simply help us to see things in a different light.

With this in mind I can see why people say NOT to use the scales as your ONLY indicator. Although they can be motivating, more often then not they are entirely un-motivating. Thus the predicament I find myself in now…hehehe! Taking measurements of your thighs, hips, waist, and upper body is like having friends that give you a different perspective of the truth.

I will get on the scales, eventually. Perhaps after next week when I have had a few social visits with my ‘other friend’ the lateral trainer to try to loose those few extra pounds that, I know I have put on…but ’seeing is believing’ and I would rather NOT see it on the scales right now…lol.

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