I look forward to…
Not having to always search for two seats together when riding a bus!
As I have mentioned, I am in the process of getting all the cartoons together for my book. My caricaturist Eric Jones is soooo talented. I tell him exactly what I want in the cartoons and he churns them out pretty much exactly as I had envisioned…often with 2 or three amendments of course…lol! I never imagined I would hear myself telling anyone…’Make me FATTER! I look too slim’ Usually when someone is drawing you or taking photo’s we are after the most flattering angles/lighting instead of making us look MORE like beached whales.
Its hard for him, I know, cause he is working off pictures of me NOW. When I am really after representations of what I was at 354lbs when it was ALL happening BABY!
I thought I’d share this one cause its one of my favorites. And yes, FYI the cartoons are based on real life experiences…fortunately, I never saw the old lady on that bus route ever again…I wonder why?
What do you think? Vote below!
I laughed out loud when this came to my inbox today…My friend (who has ‘Fakes’) thought, in her infinite wisdom, that I would appreciate it. Well, I did and it was hilarious. I still have a sore stomach from all the laughing I was doing a few minutes ago…so I wanted to share! P.S make sure you pay close attention to the expressions on the men’s faces as you scroll down. That is the funniest part!
“So, I was talking to one of my friends, and she’s kinda fat, right?
And this woman walks up to us, looks at my friend and asks “Are you pregnant?”
And she says “Yes, I got gang raped by twelve donuts.”
Honestly, I almost died.
I just turned and walked away.
I couldn’t even walk straight.”
Oh my god…I laughed and laughed when I read that…I look forward to the day people can can tell I am pregnant when I actually am!!! The amount of times I have been asked if I was pregnant…and I wasn’t is kinda embarassing…so next time…I will use that line perhaps that will shut them up…HeHe!
I look forward to having a bath without causing a dam!
Me and a good friend…we’ll call him Sponge Bob (cause he always seems to be sponging from me hehehe!) were discussing the other day about possible entrepreneurial outlets for me…I am the quintessential entrepreneur…always looking for new ways to support myself…anyhow…we got on the subject of the cartoons and were discussing putting them in a full colour book with captions sort of like the whole ‘Blue Day’ thing…Hmmm not bad really but the idea I was stuck on was putting the cartoons on t-shirts and selling them online with the captions on the back like ‘I’m losin’ it!’ and on the front having the relevant ‘I look forward to…’ phrase for each cartoon etc etc WELL… I loved the idea and wanted to run with it so we were going through the cartoons to sort through which ones would be suitable, when I picked up one of my latest cartoons titled ‘Bath Dam’ he immediately turned it down saying ‘Now Flab, who in heavens name would want to wear your huge arse on the front of their t-shirt… to which I replied..the slogan on the back of the t-shirt could read ‘check out my flabuless arse!’ We argued over this for quite some time…Now why I even wanted my arse on a t-shirt worn by someone, I didn’t know, probably on the other side of the world…I dont know…but I hate loosing…so finally he dared me…’ok missy lets put it up for sale and see if anyone buys it…if you win, I will babysit your kids for two hours every friday night for the next month (I love to party friday nights! Although I don’t get the opportunity much)…and if I win you have to massage my feet every day for the next month (yuck…massage those stinky flippers)…never one to turn down a bet I agreed…and so my loyal fans somewhere on this big wide world called the world wide web there is a T-Shirt for sale with my Arse on the front…I tell you what…if someone can find it, I will personally buy one for you as long as you wear it and send a pic so that I don’t have to massage stinky feet for the next month! (yea yea I know thats cheating)….You’ll have to look hard…It will look something like this:
So guys…comment here and tell me what the consensus is…should I release my own special brand of madness and go into the t-shirt design business? WHAT DO YOU THINK?